A feeling of I know what he/she is saying.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What Interferes with Listening?

  1. A feeling of I know what he/she is saying.

Very often you feel that I know this person very well, I know how he responds to situations, and I know all the emotions and thoughts he is capable of. And because you feel you already know what the person is going to say, or is saying, you barely pay attention. In fact your replies are ready even before the person has finished what he/she has to say. Many a times, you don't even wait for the person to finish speaking; you interrupt with you answers.

Have you never heard the complaint, 'please listen to me for once';

but then your standard defense is. 'Hey! I know what you are going to say'.

With such an attitude, what happens over a period of time is, conversation is reduced to a bare minimum, and even when things are said there is always a feeling of inadequacy and a constant feeling of alienation.Marriages fall apart, children and parents are alienated, friendships fail and business deals do not come off simply because people do not listen to others, although they think they do.

Shridha a busy executive from the national capital always felt that she knew the needs of her teenage daughter and she was doing all that she could for her. But no matter how hard she tried every conversation ended in an argument. Desperate for a solution she enrolled for the 3-day course on enlightenment. Insights poured into her as she realized that she always presumed what her daughter needed, and she only told her things, never listened to her. 'I am your mother, learn to listen to me', was the only explanation offered. She realized how unheard and misunderstood her daughter felt. This insight led to deep change in attitude. Today Shridha and her daughter enjoy a complete relationship.


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